“I’ve seen in your eyes, I’ve read it in books”

Just somehow, I keep finding the sister’s books pop up in the randomest corners of our house. Weird, since we have boxed all her stuff nice and neat, yet I keep stumbling over these books from time to time.

Today, which marked exactly 6th year since I last saw her, I found this Stephen Hawking book after a sudden urge to scour through an untouched drawer full of forgotten stuff.

If anything, I think this occurrence is what lead me to my reading habit as it is now. Those who know me some 10 years ago must have known that I didn’t even enjoy reading, to the point of finding it annoying (Well, in my poor defense, school is to blame for that stance!). And what’s more, is that I used to complain that the sister’s books kept taking up all the space in our bedroom.

So what changed? Well, the fact that I kept finding books after books that belonged to her after she’s gone did. And also the fact that the last birthday gift she had given me was also a book. It just feels like this is the least I could do to make it up to her. A silent apology, if you can call it that.

Yet another one of random gifts I’ve gotten from her, even after she’s gone. I guess you still know me best, Sis. Thanks for this one 🙂

“enough to fill up heaven, overflow and fill hell..”

Sometimes, it’s the little stuff that hits you right in the chest.

It’s probably just inevitable, what with the exams looming round the corner, all the stress that entails and everything.. But yeah, I’m missing my sister so bad right now.

In the old times, she would make sure that she’s there for me during my exams. I’m the kind who panics way more than I should whenever exam season is in town, so I guess she just didn’t want me to die of anxiety. What she couldn’t help with academically, she made up for it in the mental fort. All the little things that just made sure I’m okay, from staying up all night to keep me company while studying to just being there for me to moan and groan to after flunking an exam. She would be there at all times, being the big sister that she’s always been.

So yeah, I know she’s still watching over me somewhere up there but to be honest, it just kinda sucks now being out here on my own doing my exams without her around for the first time.

“I hear you still talk to me
As if you’re sitting in that dusty chair
Makes the hours easier to bear
I know despite the years alone
I’ll always listen to you sing your sweet song
And if it’s all the same to you

I love you oh so well
Like a kid loves candy and fresh snow
I love you oh so well
Enough to fill up heaven, overflow, and fill hell”

a little birthday note to @overjet


Hey, sis. 🙂

How’s it going up there, you partying it up in heaven or something? Ya I know you’re not much of a partygoer, nevertheless I’m pretty sure you’re having fun enjoying your time. Pretty sure it’s heaps better than all the big mess down here, right?

It sure has been pretty lonely (with extra mellowness at times) without you here, but hey. Whatever’s best for you, right? It’s what you always told me: We can’t be selfish, can’t expect to get everything we want. In the end, God’s plan always takes its course.

One thing for sure, there is no way I’m forgetting you. Not ever. I’m still trying to be a better person, and I will not stop, only in the hopes that you’d save me a spot up there, the way you always do, and we’ll meet again once I cross over.

There will be nights when I can’t sleep, moments when I wish you’re still here with me, nostalgic times remembering how you’d somehow always end up being near me, but I just know this for sure: You’re never really gone, I know you’re still watching me, somewhere somehow.

Sisters, guardian angels, what’s the diff, right? 😉

Rest well, sis.
Don’t worry about me or all of us here, I’ve got everything covered. We always have each other’s backs, and we still do. Will always do.

Wub you, Bub.